Unstoppable Doom Patrol #5 review

A quiet morning in New Poplar, Illinois, is rudely interrupted when the Doom Patrol comes calling. And they’re not in a good mood.

Happily, they’re not possessed and being forced to attacked regular folk. Nope, they’re possessed of information – mental marvel Mento has learned that the town is a front for the decidedly dodgy Metagen Corporation. All the locals are part of the company’s scheme to exploit new metahumans created by the Lazarus rain. Surely that deserves a few punches?

While Elasti-Woman and Robotman lead the assault, and Negative Man and Beast Girl provide air cover, the new Chief, the Old Chief and rescued Metagen experiment and new Patrolman Degenerate use the distraction to sneak into the firm’s HQ and surprise the evil scientists.

Surprise! But for who?

The voice belongs to a very confident man who’s turned the tables on our heroes.

McClane explains that he lured the Patrol to him by planting the information in the head of Mento, Steve Dayton – incidentally, the fifth richest man in the world – while ensuring he was prepared to take out the Chief’s pet heroes.

As for what he wants?

McClane hopes to legally secure intellectual rights to what he sees as Caulder’s greatest achievement.

Hopefully you’ve bought this issue and seen who McClane has below the window. Suffice to say she makes for a fun opponent for the Patrol’s field team, one more dangerous than robotic townsfolk.

This issue also features a cutaway subplot showing us how classic Patrol enemy General Immortus is getting along with his latest scheme.

But what got me really excited was the hints of redemption for the Chief – not Crazy Jane, but the original, Nile’s Caulder. The Chief with an upper case ‘T’. While dramatically brilliant, legendary writer Grant Morrison’s revelation that he caused the supposed accidents that led to Cliff, Larry and Rita’s traumatic rebirths as Robotman, Negative Man and Elasti-Woman left a horribly nasty taste. OK, Nile’s was always a tad grumpy, but driven to the extent of stealing the lives of strangers, wrecking their bodies? It was too cruel.

Writer Dennis Culver isn’t retconning the massive plot point away, but he’s moving The Chief (sorry Jane, Caulder will always be THE Chief to me) forward. Not only is he owning his terrible deeds, he’s admitting that playing with other people’s lives in the name of so-called progress was very wrong.

He even proves a heck of a team player, freeing his partners from McClane’s restraints with his patented Action Chair.

OK, there is the small matter of his secret chats with Mento about putting the two of them at the forefront of Patrol activities, but that doesn’t mean he’s still a total heel. I bet lots of us have thought we’re not in quite the right role at work. I look forward to seeing where this goes; hopefully it’ll lead to The Chief embracing humility, and the new Chief going back to proper Crazy Janeing – I miss Kay Challis.

Oh, and if Caulder could also dye his hair ginger again, that would be marvellous. He just looks wrong with grey hair.

As for our other heroes, everyone gets a bit of a showing. I’m especially pleased to see some team activity involving the unfortunately named Degenerate, who gets to mix muscle power with social comment.

Culver’s pacing and dialogue are great, the book zips along at a rate of knots, and artist Chris Burnham ensures every storytelling point is sold with maximum style and drama. There’s one panel that’s particularly powerful, as we see the unfortunates McClane refers to as his ‘psychic assets’. McClane himself is a nice design, with his smug smile and perky hair. And his secret weapon just bursts off the page.

The melee won’t the cyborg citizens – as also pictured on Burnham’s cover – is a treat, Cliff, Rita and Larry’s desperate struggle to beat the grotesqueries makes for some terrific visuals. And they’re all coloured with verve by Brian Reber, while Pat Brosseau continues to contribute expressive lettering – and his title design for ‘Assault on Main Street’ is a well-thought-out winner.

We’ve two more issues of this limited series to go, and I fully expect them to be as stonkingly great as this one. We may not have an ongoing, but it’s a good time to be a Doom Patrol fan.