Action Comics #1063 review

On the Bizarro World, imperfect duplicates of Superman, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and all their friends do the opposite of people of Earth.

On the Bizarro World, people sit on the floor to dine while their pets perch at the table. On the Bizarro World people vacation at the beach in wintertime and stay at home in summertime. On the Bizarro world, well people receive Get Sick Soon cards. Yes, everything is the opposite of Earth on the wacky Bizarro World…

… but would even the most bizarre of Bizarros enjoy a Superman story in which Bizarro No1 kills the original Man of Steel 103 times?

I know I didn’t. I’ve given this story, advertised as the brilliant Superman debut by Jason Aaron, the benefit of the doubt. I’ve not liked some of the stuff that’s happened – well, a lot – but decided to consider it an Imaginary Story (yes, aren’t they all?). It makes sense, there’s so much mayhem as Bizarro No1, distraught after his planet and family vanish in a multiversal crisis, learns magic and transforms Earth into a new Bizarro World, with everyone turned chalky white, their personalities twisted 180 degrees.

And indeed, there’s a reset at the end of the issue, setting things back to how they were before Bizarro No1 arrived. Even that, though, leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.

So what happens this issue? Superman, having failed against the insanity of Bizarro No1, turns to someone the spell has made the sanest person on the entire planet.

The Joker. Seemingly destroyed by his own magic, a mini Bizarro No1 has taken up residence in Superman’s head, so Joker helps our hero with a guided meditation. Superman uses Kryptonian mind techniques – presumably the Theta/Torquasm-Vo state from the Nineties – to anchor him as his mind flies over every inch of the planet, looking for the monster in his mind. And he finds him, and Bizarro No1 is getting bigger.

Fear not, my earlier maths is fine, within a few pages, Superman gets murdered another 14 times.

I really don’t see the point. There’s no shock value, it’s just nasty. And OK, it’s all in Superman’s head, but the mental scars will remain.

Yes, even after Superman finally defeats the shadow of Bizarro No1, and turns back time, it’s not a clean win. The Clown Prince of Crime, a murderer once more, vanishes from Superman’s sight. And as for Bizarro No1.

Marvelous. Aaron proceeds to end the story with Superman smiling blithely, even though he now has the spirit of a particularly crazed Bizarro No1 in his head.

So this definitely goes into the file marked ‘Imaginary Story. And it’s not even a particularly fun one. Aaron gave us a few good Superman moments over his three issues, but when push comes to shove, the star of Action Comics needs a huge white helping hand from one of the DC Universe’s worst villains to overcome the turmoil in his mind. I wouldn’t care if this were a DC Comics Presents and Joker was the co-star, but it’s not.

So, overall I’d be happy were Aaron to stay well away from Metropolis in future.

Artist John Timms, he can stay. Once again he produces excellent artwork, with good compositions, a great Superman and Bizarro No1 and an interesting Joker design. I like the little clown spots below the eye, I’m OK with him looking younger than usual… but the nose is a tad too skinny. Still, he works well on the page. Rex Lokus again makes the panels pop with smart colours, with some great weather and background effects. And Dave Sharpe’s lettering is clear as a bell.

Timms’ cover image is decent, but the purple tints hurt the clarity.

Next month we get the next guest creative team; hopefully they’ll give Superman a chance to shine. For now, I leave you with a reminder of the days when a Bizarro story wanted you to smile.