We’re coming up to St Valentine’s Day so it’s time for another seasonal DC anthology. I review a lot of these but don’t get many comments – with the page count being 80-100pp, it’s probably the price points that put people off. But now, for DC Infinite Ultra subscribers, there’s no excuse as the giants are being uploaded day and date.
If only I always remembered this – I keep paying for the things!
But not this one, I read it on the app, meaning that if the quality wasn’t brilliant, no regrets.
The book gets off to a great start with a brilliant logo by Kenny Lopez atop a fabulous cover illustration by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti featuring Guy, Fire, Ice and his old squeeze, weirdo fortune teller Kari Limbo.
None of them are in the book, but it doesn’t matter, we’ve seen a lot of Power Girl and Fire & Ice lately, and no one wants to see Kari Limbo again.
The title story doesn’t need them, being a clever tale in which Gotham reporter and Silver Age Batman pest Vicki Vale decides to use Earth’s Greatest Green Lantern for an article on dating a superhero.
Cue ten dates in ten days, with Guy being his usual obnoxious self, but hey, he’s the victim here!
Writer Kenny Porter gives us a tight, funny script that, when it comes to Guy, finds the right balance between unbearable and human. The storytelling of artist Nick Robles is spot-on for the tone of the script, and he gives us the best-looking Guy in forever. Colourist Nick Filardi contributes some glorious greens to contrast our red-headed protagonists, and lots of other well-considered tones too. And Travis Lanham letters with his usual style.
(In order to keep this review at a manageable length, I’m not going to mention all the colour artists and letterers – they’re all great, and I’ll namecheck them via the comic’s credit page at the end of this review.)
‘Robots are red, androids are blue’ stars everybody’s second favourite comic book Pinocchio, Red Tornado. While he’s not been in the Justice League for a long time, Superman, Batman and co are very happy for Reddy to handle monitor duty while they have adventures, supper or whatever. He doesn’t have to spend the evening with no company, though – there’s a new Bat-AI to chat to. And soon Reddy is telling his little pal what it’s like to be an android in love.
Should Reddy continue trying to make things work with Kathy? Aaron J Waltke finds a logical jumping off point for a Red Tornado story, nodding to old continuity – love interest Kathy – while ignoring other stuff… the fact he’s married to Kathy, and they have an adopted daughter, Traya. I enjoyed this story a lot, and I would love to see a sequel featuring Metal Man Tina, for reasons I won’t go into – read the story, enjoy Waltke’s well-worked script and Ivan Shavrin’s vibrant four-colour art.
Booster Gold isn’t lovelorn in ‘Golden Pairs’, he’s running an agency for people looking for love. But in 2023 a single bad review can really harm a company. Luckily he can travel back in time and easily ensure someone has a better experience. Well, that’s the idea…
It’s fun all the way from writer Danny Lore and artists Ted Brandt and Ro Stein, a big, daft cartoony romp to brighten up a winter’s day.
Mind, there’s no need for this kind of thing!
A time travel fix story is followed by a time travel fix story, but one of a happily different flavour. We’re back in the land of Not Quite Continuity as Barry Allen and Iris West go on ‘Too Many First Dates’. Barry and Iris are at a coffee shop, things don’t go perfectly, and Barry decides to crank up the old Cosmic Treadmill.
So he tries again. And again… it’s a fun idea, a light-hearted romcom in which our hero learns a great life lesson. With story and art by Marguerite Sauvage, Barry and Iris are ridiculously attractive – Iris looks like the literal goddess of the rainbow on the final page – but why not, we’re in the realm of romance? I do wonder, though, why – Flash costume apart – Sauvage keeps her colours so pale.
A few months ago the Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun special brought us a five-star fantasy starring Robotman by DC collections editor Alex Galer. I believe that was his first published comics story, and now he’s back with another winner, as John Constantine and Gary Lester – a name familiar to longtime Hellblazer fans – star in ‘Never Been Kissed’.
The script is smart, warm and a little heartbreaking while the art by the versatile Derek Charm matches the story’s stupendousness. Don’t miss it.
Plastic Man meets the woman who may be perfect for him in ‘Love’s a Stretch…’ and she’s not one of the fine femmes he’s squiring around town. Dennis Hopeless helms a clever tale which nods towards Plas’ awful luck with women back in the Bronze Age (look up Ruby Ryder!).
I like Baldemar Rivas’ energetic full-colour art, he does a nice version of the classic costume, though I’m not keen on Plas with muscles, that’s a tad weird.
When you’re as beautiful as Aphrodite, of course St Valentine’s Day is a nightmare, with everyone wanting to steal your heart.
But this year Wonder Woman has a plan…
Brendan Hale has come up with a cracking idea with ‘Say Yes To The Mess’, one that allows for a terrific done-in-one that would make for a far better back-up in the Wonder Woman series than DC are currently giving us. And ML Sanapo draws a delightful Diana, along with many DC faces, some familiar, others wonderfully obscure.
The issue ends with the book’s most conventional story, but ‘Date Night’ by George Mann, penciller Leonardo Rodrigues and inkers Joe Prado and Jonas Trindade is still a successful short. It’s Nightwing and Batgirl trying to have a quiet date while Batgirls Cassie and Steph protect Gotham City. Enter a very scary villain.
Oh, I love Scarecrow, and he’s splendidly imposing here. Apparently he couldn’t get a date…
There’s not a bad story in the bunch, so kudos to editors Katie Kubert, Andrew Marino, Michael McCalister and Ben Meares and all the other talents involved. Speaking of whom.
And yes, I haven’t missed anything out – there’s no Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy story in this special. I thought there was a rule…
If you have access to the DC app, you’re laughing like Harley’s hyenas. If you’d have to shell out separately to get How to Lose a Guy Gardner in Ten Days, do so. You’ll very likely love it.
Too Dangerous For a Girl 2 
I ranged from disliking stories enough to skim to meh.
And maybe Sauvage does that with the colors hoping we’ll not notice everyone is drawn looking bewildered?
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Lol! That’s it!! Seriously, her style doesn’t fit every story.
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Ha, that’s fair comment!
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The Constantine story was my favourite, by a long shot! Loved the artwork and the tone… and the sad little ending. Sweet and sad all at once. I’d totally buy a series from this creative team.
These rest of the stories were hit or miss for me. But I’m so glad that we get these anthologies on a semi regular basis.
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Me too, and it’s a real treat when the quality is good throughout, I’ve read so many stinkers.
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Ooops. The anonymous comment was me
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Hi Murray!
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Nice review! I think the Babs and Dick story was my favorite. I really felt bad for Vicki! Sometimes, a lot of these stories, don’t have enough depth.
Matthew Lloyd
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I was wondering why her pal in the office was named, when he had no real role. Apparently I need to watch the Harley Quinn cartoon!
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You may have to see Kari Limbo at least one more time, Uncle Martin…
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I be it’ll be the Best Kari Limbo Ever!
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I haven’t read all of these yet, but of the few I’ve read:
I loved the Hellblazer story. Really fun, and quite sad as well. That’s a lot to pull off in 8 pages. The DCU definitely needs more Derek Charm.
Flash: Sigh. Marguerite Sauvage’s art is gorgeous, and I think I’m at a point where I never want to see it again. And I’m DEFINITELY tired of stories where Barry Allen is emotionally a child. That was fine for the CW — until it wasn’t — but even as a tale of a younger Barry Allen, I want him to be more mature that Scott Pilgrim, OK?
That’s what I’ve read so far. But something I was thinking — that is actually a little heretical from a fan like me — it I think these anthologies could stand a dash of continuity. Not in all the stories, or even most of the stories. But it would be great if there were a Jimmy Olsen story by the regular Superman creative team, or a Titans spotlight story by Tom Taylor and Nicola Scott, that could address the theme — rom-com romances — but also hook into the main story of those characters. Right now, these stories seem like hothouse flowers to me. Some of them are lovely, but all of them need a secluded environment to function. But if a Green Lantern story introduces a love interest for Guy, I’d love to see that addressed — even slightly, in the main GL title.
My fear is that DC will take this advice and push EVERYTHING to continuity, which would be awful. But if, once or twice, fans had the feeling that things actually happen in the anthologies, I think that would bolster their sales and make them a more vital ongoing project.
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I’m all for your idea of having a few stories in there that ‘matter’ and certainly ones from regular creative teams. A mix of veterans and up and comers would be great. I’d love to hear what you reckon to the rest of the issue when the time comes.
The only reason I could accept a Barry this daft – I mean, first date and he’s ’in love’ with Iris? – is by assuming it’s on Earth TV or wherever.
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Seriously, he’s in love with her? Get a grip, Bar.
I’ve read a couple more now: I liked the Guy Gardner story, but I think I’d have liked it a bit more without the big “Just Friends” candy-heart banner at the end. Have Guy date Vicki for a bit! They just got past an obstacle, and maybe they can work it out, or maybe not, but why not date and see, now that they’re both on the same page?
The Red Tornado story didn’t do much for me. Of the rest, I’m most looking forward to the Booster Gold and Plastic Man stories, though the Wonder Woman one looks promising too.
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Kari Limbo is the leader in the clubhouse for “worst Silver/Bronze Age” girlfriend. Although, it makes her a potentially fun character.
I struggle with the current Iris West for similar reasons. She and Barry had a TERRIBLE relationship. I hate they’ve retconned it.
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By the time I started reading the Flash, Iris had already outgrown her roots as the evil girlfriend she and Jean Loring were created as. If I had to explain it I just would say she stopped being a shrew the more she grew to really love Barry. Jean could have but the madness she experienced prior to the marriage gave writers ideas that made her first an adulterer the desperate enough to accidentally kill to get Ray back.
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I didn’t read any of the Silver Age material (other than the origins) until I was an adult. It really jumped me that none of those DC girlfriends was ‘evil’ or even wrong exactly. Those characters are much flatter today than they were in the 1950s and early 60s.
Consider Iris West, Barry never shows up on time. She suspects (correctly (!)) that it is a choice on his part. That is why she is so angry. He doesn’t really want to be in the relationship and she is reacting badly.
Jean Loring is even more reasonable. She was approximately 25 at the start of The Atom. She has a JD degree, but hasn’t established her career. Is it really wrong that she doesn’t want to get married and start having unprotected sex in a pre-Pill era?
You can go straight down the list: Lois Lane, Lana Lang, Carol Ferris …
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I disagree about Iris, once she and Barry got married and he stopped lying to the poor woman they seemed pretty solid. Heck, they got through the whole Melanie nonsense together!
Mind, who knows what would have happened had Kari Limbo shown up?
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Maybe it is quirk of when I started reading The Flash, because he was a widower banging Zatanna and Patty Spivot in my youth.
I never saw Barry & Iris as a great romance considering Iris wasn’t dead, but was just in hiding in the 31st century and Barry could travel through time as easily as I can go to the grocery store. He never looked for her and she never sent back word. That didn’t seem like two people who cannot bear to be apart.
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I don’t think he ever had anything going with Patty before the New 52, she was his lab pal only. With Zee it was just a spot of flirting. And Barry had no idea Iris was still alive and in the 30th century for a couple of years in his time, finding out only during the Trial of the Flash story that closed out his secret pre-Crisis.
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Yes! Price point matters! — Professor Alan
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I learned at your knee.
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